Friday
Nov272009
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Response: dating olderJon Gosselin's girlfriend says the one- time reality TV star has 'mantrums' but still loves him/ a October 29th, 2009 Jon Gosselin's girlfriend claims he has 'mantrums'NEW YORK— Jon Gosselin's post- Kate relationship isn't going too well— and that's according to his new girlfriend. Hailey Glassman tells the syndicated television magazine ...
Reader Comments (28)
well, I'm glad you came out with this one Mr. Lewis simply because one of my past girlfriends came back into my life. Only this time, my long time friend was married. Now, she had been stressing how her husband was not paying her enough attention. Me being me i gave a little attention. This by all means doesn't mean I slept with her, though i wanted to hop right in the sack with her if i didn't have this sick feeling in my stomach. It was punching me right in my belly every time she spoke about him and what they were doing. Finally; i decided to just cut it off because that feeling i was getting was so strong i couldn't ignore it. she still calls me and asks me if i love her and i tell her yes as a friend only. By all means respect the code brothers cause without that what would we be.
Agreed. Another great Vlog under the belt Lewis. It seems that people are increasingly loosing focus of what marriage is supposed to be about. Without regard to religion personally, because I'm atheist. Marriage is a level of commitment to take very seriously. It doesn't take a religious person to figure that out at all.
Great job, Mr. Williams! There are times when people need to hear this sort of information in such a true, yet stinging manner in order for them to understand that what they are doing is wrong. Most of us already know what we are doing is wrong because we have been taught right from wrong all throughout our upbringing. Unfortunately, a lot of people feel that since they have moved out of Mama/Daddy/Grandma/Auntie/Whoever's house, that they can just abandon those basic morals and live as they so wish, but that definitely is not the case. And even though your Vlog was great, there are still going to be those individuals out there that think that this sort of behavior is acceptable in "their situation" when in actualily, they are exactly what you said they are....TRIFLIN!
Lewis I feel yiou 1000% on this!!!!!!!!!!!! People hate to hear the truth especially about the marriage situation. I had a situation with me and my ex fiance got married to someone else and it didn't work out and he wanted to be back with me. I fought it and fought it and then I finally gave him a chance because they were seperated but after a week or 2 i couldn't do it anymore because I felt like how can I be living right dealing with a married man... I love him but at the same time I loved myself enough to charge that to the game...I know I deserve an unmarried man f that!!!!!!! Much love to you baby keep puttin the truth out here!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that was al true
That was da bomb, dawg! Married people who are creepin' need to play and replay that video until it sinks in. If you're not happy and you've exhausted every option and opportunity to turn your marriage around, leave. But until then, and until the divorce is final, you're married. Period. My boy got married, after being engaged 4 times, to a GOOD woman. I love him like a brother and have since we were kids, but I TOLD HER to stay away from his triflin' azz. She didn't, they got married. After the reception, a bunch of us got together for drinks and put money down on how long it would last. Nobody gave it more than 7 years. They lasted 6 before he left, leaving her with three kids, two under the age of 4. Within DAYS of separating, he moved back in with his mama and was out whoring around and got indignant when I reminded him that he was still married. They never filed papers, he creeped with married and unmarried alike, and over the summer his "wife" died practically penniless. And he doesn't understand why her family treats him like a dog.
You got it right at the beginning, Lewis. At some point, you decided that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Follow through.
BRAH MUCH LOVE TO THIS BLOG TOO YA BIG LEW. IM A MARRIED MAN AND ITS CRAZY HOW SO MANY MARRIAGES DONT WORK NOW A DAY BECAUSE MARRIED FOLK DONT KNOW HOW TO BE MARRIED. PEOPLE SO CAUGHT ON HAVING A QUANTITY OF PEOPLE IN THERE LIFE INSTEAD OF THE QUALITY IN THERE LIFE BUT LEW YOU DID THAT ON THIS ONE FOR REAL. SO MANY PEOPLE JUST FLAT OUT FLAW.
Mr. Lews, I really like this one. " The Truth "
Well, i like your post its so true, i must admit, i have fooled around with a married man before, i decided to ignore my wrongful actions, but i pray not to repeat it again cause it aint worth it......and what goes around comes around too. God forgive me for my sins
Lewis, thank you for breaking down "married people". To some of our men or women out there who are sleeping with a marriage person remember "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" Hebrews 13:4
If you are not a wife you are called a concubine. Both of you both are in the wrong.
Some of you need a divine deliverance from the penis or the vagina administration which is called bondage and emotional entrapment.
"be the change we want to see"
How you view yourself will determine how a man or a woman will treat you. Life is a full circle what goes around will come around. Hopefully someone will be inspired by your video to govern their sexual body parts accordingly.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK :)
Well first off you gained a fan with this post, even if I don't completely agree with everything you said you were about 90% on point, and I commend you for saying what others wont admit out loud.
I am going to start my rebuttal though because 90 days isn't always what it takes to get divorced, while in some states that may be true some states institue what they call a cooling off period, which can take from six months to even a year in some states. Also for military personell it could take even longer because you have to establish residency if you are new to a state and that in and of it self can take a year in some cases.
I agree with you though that most people that "say" they are getting divorced don't, they BS around because their heart is still with the person that they married, even if they don't want to admit it to their side piece the truth is in their actions.
I can only speak from what I have experienced but I know that after my wife left me and I started on my divorce there was no turning back for me, and yes I met someone during that process and I was upfront with her immediately, and it took about 9 months for my divorce to be complete during that time, which honestly falls into your timeline when you think of it, because we had to wait 6 months before I could file those initial papers and then the time it took my ex to actually come to an agreement (over our kids) and sign the paperwork was another 3 months or 90 days.
Again bro I commend you for putting this out there and the people that don't like what you have to say are the people that most likely truly needed to hear this message! Take care bro I look forward to digging deeper into your blog!
Lewis,
I have listened to all of your video blogs and have even participated and listened in on one of your online Q&A sessions, and I think that you hit a very sensitive and delicate topic here.
I must say that I agree with the majority of what you say in this post. People generally are slaves to their choices, be them good or bad. Individuals choose to marry who they want and are not forced into these Godly, covenant agreements. I also agree that if one is so unhappy and disenchanted with their spouse, they should look for the nearest "exit" (divorce) and free themselves.
I do think that you may have to do an extension or a follow-up to this topic. There are so many facets and caveats to married people - single folk relationships.
What about the female that is dating someone that they later found out to be married? Would they still be considered a ho'? Or the dude that has has hit a low point, maybe even depressed, who has entered into a relationship with a married woman because temporarily it provided something they needed ... closeness, a psuedo-relationship, interaction? Would this one occurrence classify them as untrustworthy and discredit them as a candidate for friendship? Are you and the gentlemen you referenced as your friend (that slept with a married woman and had a year of bad luck) still friends?
Now those folks that are out there scouting and dating other people's spouses for the sake of doing so (and there are those people) and those married folk that are out there living like they're single, are just disgusting and disrespectful. Like you say ... they chose that situation and that person, so either (a) live with it or (b) get out of it!
But I think that so many other reasons: depression, insecurity, loneliness, financial reasons, life situations ... drive other people to do things that they morally and normally would not do.
Thankfully, God told Samuel in I Samuel 16:7, "...Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."
For those that found themselves involved with someone that is married and is having an internal conflict and struggle going on regarding it ... want to get out and feel you cannot, and for the married person that is in the same situation, there is hope!
For the deliberate homewrecker ... there is also hope, and "clean up your act!"
I'm looking forward to your next blog/video, man!
Lewis, can you give advice on Long Distance Relationships, because I'm sure their are some men and women out there that have some concerns. :)
I love your blogs! You are great, and everything you say is sooo true. Keep up the good work. I've never been married, and I will be extremely careful on who I choose to be my husband. :)
I appreciate the blog my borther. I to am married with two kids. I recently deployed to Iraq and thought I left behind a happy home. Well 3 months before I returned my wife said she wasn't happy and wanted out. Now I can understand of I did something wrong like cheat or be abusive but I was not. I am a good father and husband. We have only been married 2 years and I admit I am still learning how to be a good husband. Like I told my wife, I didn't make you marry me and I didn't put a gun to your head. I am going to keep my vows and fight for my marriage. If she wants to she can go anytime she feels like it. I would like to hear your stance on my situation. Not asking for advice but rather your opinion. God Bless!
ooohhh lewis! i have been the side piece, i've been the cheating wife and i've "cheated" while getting my divorce!! thanks for the truth!! keep keeping it real!!
you've been on point for some time now.
for me, the worst part is the lies and betrayal.
as lewis attests, stupidity plays a large part of the problem,
i thought if i did things differently or tried to be the man
she wanted, everything would be alright.
nope. NOPE!
i was stoopid!
nobody to blame but me
especially since i had busted them b4.
i forgave and wanted to believe,
but there is no pleasing selfish, self-centered people.
example:
_____________________________________________________
"When we were talking yesterday and I said that sleeping with XX was "not just about that" and you asked me "what is it about then" and I said it was about being lonely and sad and some other shit.
So you take the loneliness, the hopelessness, the sadness, and the anger, and you introduce someone who's a known entity. Not a man I'm in love with, but someone who I know not to expect too much from. Someone who really can't hurt me anymore, cuz if he's around, okay, and if he takes off, oh well. Someone who I'm in control of the ground rules with. See him when I want. Blow him off when I want. Sleep with him. Don't sleep with him. Granted, none of these feelings are something to be particularly proud of, just the epiphanies I came to last night as I pondered it more and more.
So here I am, sleeping with a man I don't love, thinking constantly about the man I do love, not particularly proud of any of it at the moment. Knowing that in order to move forward and find someone to share my life with, I have to end this shit with him, but I came to another epiphany when I thought about that. One of the reasons I hang onto him, is because it means I'm not pursuing another relationship, and if you change your mind, I'll only be in a casual sex thing with my ex (easy to end) not in a real relationship that I may not want to end. Crazy huh? LOL. So he's my back up plan or some shit like that. Never really analyzed it before, but I think I'm on to something. Anyway, this is already way too long for your taste, so I'll save anything else for later, or just keep it too myself cuz I think you probably don't like this stuff. (my interpretation; may not be true) Talk to you later. Love you."
_____________________________________________________________
always remember that what is in the dark often comes to light,
like the email above that was supposed to be sent to your married
man that you sent to me by mistake.
sorry for the excessive length.
peace.
Lewis you are so dead on with this topic. I am so sick of people getting married and then when things go wrong or expections aren't met, they run to someone else. The problem is that no one RESPECTS and ACKNOWLEDGES what a marriage is. It is a covenant- much more than just a "committment". You are absolutely right and I say it all the time, no one put a gun to your head to be with that person. It was a choice that you made and you need to adhere to that decision. People also make divorce an alternative/option. Unless there is physical/mental abuse, adultery of any kind, divorce should not be an option. But too many people go in with that idea in the back of their minds so when the first sign of trouble comes or the famous one: we just grew apart, it's let's get divorced. To me there's no such thing. It is a known and obvious fact that you are two totally different poeple. Male and female and it should be that way. But mariage is work but when you have God first in your life and WHOLEHEARTEDLY trust in Him, you will know that He can be your problem solver. I cannot stand when someone says: oh, but we are separated, I don't care if you have been "separated for 10 years- guess what? you are STILL married people!!!!! If something was to happen to your spouse, the law or whomever will not go to your "girlfriend or boyfriend to get business taken care of, guess who they are going to come to? Yeah the spouse.
In NC you have to be legally separated for a year before a judge will grant you a divorce. "Just to be sure time", I guess you can call it. However, on your separation paperwork you can put any date down that you and the person you're married to have agreed to say you've been separated for. So you can definitely speed things up if you really want it over. I had a co-worker who thought she wanted it over because her husband cheated. On her separation paperwork she went back to the day he cheated and got him to agree they were separated from that date. This allowed her to get a legal divorce in two months. They were back together a month after the divorce.You should hear her explain that. I don't tell grown people what to do but people go through rough times in relationships. You really shouldn't make major decisions in the midst of your anger.
Wow, didnt get to see video because it wouldn't load but never the less I have read the post. I can only image what you said in the video and dont have to see it in order to relate to it. Just by what has been posted I see that you have ultimately let the cat out of the bag. Point is some that are posting probably have been hurt just like I have. Funny thing about it that we are the ones that know our maker (God) and know our purpose in life. But whom we haven't heard from a lot, are the ones that seem to think marriage is about what they can gain because they have a paper signed and or a ring on their finger. Thats because these people dont Know who their maker is and dont know who they are in life. Truth of the fact is that the moral decline with our society has pushed this problem of non-faithfullness upon us.. When we forget about God and want to take him out of our lives then this is what happens. Our nations laws were founded on those of God because their is truth in that little black book and people do read it for a reason. And no Im no holy roller and dont go to church all the time but I do know who helps me through life if I will allow it. Its true that we as living beings all have choices but we seem to forget about what we call peer presure. Now think about it, what is it that we see on tv and listen to on the radio? Does it really serve a purpose? What are we really getting out of it subconscioulsy? We need to think outside the box about things instead of taking them as they come.
Hello young man (Mr. Lewis Williams) I enjoy visiting your web. site when I need to be encouraged not to settle because it seems as if everyone I've met in past was either married or with a live in person. I know God hasn't brought me this far to leave me over my 8 plus years I have been kept and it isn't in vain, but you know sometimes we can tend to get ahead of ourselves and think I'll be a old lady still waiting and possibly miss the boat lol. Keep up the good work and doing the right thing and the things God has in store for you will overtake you. Stay true to your hustle till I see you on my shuttle van again be blessed !!!
I'm adding a lil something on a comment I read some of it's contents. I feel that because of our ignorance on marriages we are unaware devorce is only permissable if adultry is involved and the heart is haedened because of the adultry that was committed. If the husband or wife is just not happy with weight gain, limb loss, or something of that nature then they need to pray seek God and repent of their own sins, then return to their spouse with a plan to correct what they aren't happy with in the marriage. We need to be educated on marriages before we commit to one or do like I did wait till you just know this is it in your gutt. It is to many warnings out there and HIV-Aids don't have a name it affects anyone innocent or guilty. People please get a relation with your creator and pray and read your instructions before leaving this earth please, please, please !!!! Thanks I got it, I got it, I got it.
damn yo... Never looked at it like that.. time to burn some bridges. thanks brother
I Loved This! The truth is the truth, and you are right! When you make those vows under God, you are supposed to keep them. If what you are in is not what you want, even if it was at first, but it is not anymore, file for a divorce and in those 90 days.....DO YOU!!!!! I have been married for 7 years and everyday has not been peachy, but at the end of the day, I realize that what I have, and what I vowed to do is more important that anything. THANK YOU!
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